Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize