I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
