So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
