Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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