people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
