would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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