we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
