Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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