We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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