i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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