Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
