I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
