Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My life is pants optional.
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