bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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