Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize