he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
