u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
