you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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