i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
