maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
