I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
