its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
