No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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