Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
