We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
