The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
