you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
