If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
