He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize