Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
