well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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