We're facebook friends in real life
I think I am morally bankrupt
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Lo siento on account of my penis...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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