My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
