Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
