"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
