I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
