hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
honey bunches of taint.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize