Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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