When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
