why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize