your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm at about main and main street
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
