Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
dude. I can hear the air.
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