You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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