i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
