i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
