He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
