You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
