Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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