i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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