a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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