so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
