the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm always down for nudity.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
