he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
