Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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