lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
