I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
