so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
