So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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