You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
