dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
