some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
