Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
