She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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