It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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