Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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