My Higher Power is John Stamos
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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