she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My vagina is officially offended.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
